If you’re anything like me (ouch, sorry to hear that), you read a lot of comic books from the 1950’s and are constantly depressed that most of the (patently awesome) things advertised in them are no longer available.
Continue reading “15 Wacky Comic Book Ads from the 1950’s!”Tag: list
14 Times You Were Insulted in Final Fantasy VI*
*in the World of Balance
I am going to assume, if you are reading this list, that you are at least somewhat familiar with the game Final Fantasy VI (or III as it was originally released in North America).
Continue reading “14 Times You Were Insulted in Final Fantasy VI*”22 Times Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook Attempted to be Human
All of these were found on 4chan although I imagine that they can be found on twitter, knowyourmeme, and/or that other site as well. Anyway, don’t laugh at these or you will find that a billionaire has licensed your internal organs and sold them to a phở joint in Hanoi.
I Watched All 5 Final Destination Movies in 5 Days
Dude it was awesome.
The Final Destination Franchise is one of my most beloved in all of cinema. Without going into too much detail (because you can find out more on the wikipedia page or the fan wiki page) the movie series deals with people that were supposed to die in gruesome accidents, but through luck, fortune, or intervention they are able to escape death; however, Death has a plan and the people that “escaped” die in strange accidents, but various characters are somewhat aware of Death’s plan.
The first movie was supposed to be an X-Files episode, but it turned out to be too good/big of an idea and was made into a movie, which obviously spawned 4 sequels.
I watched all of the movies and reviewed each one, here is what I thought. There are some spoilers, but you will have to select the text to see them.
Final Destination (2000)
My Take: I remember seeing this flick in the cinema and 20 years later it is just as good; in fact, in a lot of ways it is better, because it blows most contemporary horror flicks away. The concept of the film is introduced in a coherent and easily-digestible manner; but what really stands out is the competent writing, lack of plot holes, and general quality of story. The creativity, direction, and effects related to the various deaths are of the highest quality and have an over-the-top aspect that really elicits a response.
I have seen this movie several times and each time I do I manage to appreciate something new. I can see myself watching this again in the future, which is good, since I bought the DVDs (yeah, I guess I am old-school; or maybe just old, but I still buy physical media on occasion…)
Defining Scene: (highlight text to uncover spoilers) the scene in which Todd is killed in the bathroom is easily my favourite scene. It is hard for something like the bus impact to be overtaken, but the bathroom kill is just too real. I can imagine myself (and actually did when I watched this) in Todd’s situation as he slips on the wet tile floor and somehow gets wrapped up in (the very hotel-styled) drying cord in the shower. Even the way he struggles to stand up in the tub with the bottom slick with shampoo, it is totally believable.
Ratings:
– IMDB – 6.7/10
– rottentomatoes – 35% Critics; 68% Viewers
– my rating – 10/10
Bottom Line: Wow, the critics were really wrong here, this movie is a perfect 10.
Final Destination 2 (2003)
My Take: For me, the only thing that makes this movie somewhat less than the first in the series is that it is a sequel. If this had been the inaugural in the series (and with a few changes to the lore, it could easily be switched with the first) it would easily be the superior film. Even as a sequel, it is truly excellent and lives up to the first. The only thing I don’t like about it is Ali Larter’s character’s (Clear Rivers) new haircut, and that is a very insignificant complaint.
The same intelligent writing and competent storytelling is present in this film, albeit with a slightly different take with a different director. This film trades a bit of music quality for some more interesting camerawork, but that can boil down to to preference as to which is better. This is a really fantastic flick and I can’t recommend it enough! …especially when viewed shortly after the first!
Defining Scene: (highlight text to uncover spoilers) I was really drawn between picking the main accident scene on the freeway and what I ended up selecting. Before I get to my selection, I want to note that the car accident scene is amazing, the CGI blends in with the practical effects very well and the sheer gruesomeness is only matched by the attention to detail and creativity, a truly excellent scene. My pick; however, is the very final scene when the teenager is blown up at the barbecue and his flaming, severed arm lands on his mother’s plate – it is, for me, the perfect black humour element, and suitably grim.
Ratings:
– IMDB – 6.2/10
– rottentomatoes – 48% Critics; 58% Viewers
– my rating – 10/10
Bottom Line: Yeah, I don’t know how the ratings are so low, this film was awesome!
Final Destination 3 (2006)
My Take: I will admit that this is the first in the series that starts to drift a little ways away from the core vision of the first two. I don’t want to give the impression that this is a bad movie, it totally isn’t, but it lacks the same feeling that the first two had.
The effects, creativity, and writing are all still excellent; however, there is some small piece of feeling that I can’t quite describe that this film lacks. What this film doesn’t lack is excellent music direction as the director of the first film returns, but at the same time, a lot of the shots are a bit more soap opera style – perhaps that is what is changed in this entry, there is a bigger focus on the interactions of the characters, rather than the subject of their interactions (death).
Defining Scene: (highlight text to uncover spoilers) I know it seems like I am harvesting the low-hanging fruit, but the scene in the tanning salon where the two airhead friends burn to death (and of course, all of the less-clothed moments before their deaths) is easily my favourite. There are other deaths that are more brutal (looking at you nailgun massacre) but the tanning salon scene combines all cinematic elements together in a truly fantastic manner.
Ratings:
– IMDB – 5.8/10
– rottentomatoes – 43% Critics; 57% Viewers
– my rating – 8/10
Bottom Line: Anyone that would rate this 43% should be imprisoned for life.
The Final Destination (2009)
My Take: Alright, here it is right out at the start: this movie is not as good as the previous three. This was made in the time when 3D was having a resurgence and the movie focuses a little too much on that technology. There are big gaps in the quality of scenes and their execution. There is still a lot of creativity in each of the scenes, but the quality is noticeably lower in almost every aspect.
As far as story elements are concerned, the general writing is in step with the previous three movies, but there are fewer connections (and those that exist are really added on) and to me, it is clear that the writers had recently viewed the previous three and left out a lot of exposition. My position isn’t that more exposition is better, but there really good balance of mystery and exposition, and this flick just leaves a lot of connections that need tying up hanging in the wind.
Defining Scene: (highlight text to uncover spoilers) I am going to be honest here, there aren’t too many scenes competing for this honour; I have to give it to the tow-truck driver’s face landing on the front lawn, it made me chuckle.
Ratings:
– IMDB – 5.2/10
– rottentomatoes – 28% Critics; 35% Viewers
– my rating – 6/10
Bottom Line: Okay, okay! It doesn’t live up to the name… 😦
Final Destination 5 (2011)
My Take: Yes! I am so happy that this movie didn’t continue the downward spiral that the previous entry in the series was on. I will admit that this movie is not as good as the first two installments (or even the third) but it is a definite “return to form” which was very, very welcome.
Where this movie really suffers is in the precognition aspect – the premonitions are staid and it seems like there are no subtle warnings, only large, intricate ones, which is a little too simplified for my tastes. The music in this entry is geared more towards commercial/popular rather than atmospheric, which is not a bright note. The camerawork and direction is acceptable, but nothing really interesting. The effects are better than the fourth installment (not hard) but aren’t quite as good as the first entries. There is still a great deal of creativity in the actual scenes, which made me smile.
Defining Scene: (highlight text to uncover spoilers) I was really surprised that the movie ended up being a prequel, and that was really well done. At first the lack of references to flight 180 (which had become a standard) bothered me, but those bothers were eliminated by the ending. Despite that feeling, my actual defining moment was seeing Champ Kind getting horrendously covered in boiling-hot asphalt – I could imagine myself in that situation and it was absolutely terrifying for me, it was grotesque and intense, an excellent scene.
Ratings:
– IMDB – 5.8/10
– rottentomatoes – 62% Critics; 52% Viewers
– my rating – 8/10
Bottom Line: Welcome back! This is a great entry for the series.
Well, enjoyed all of the movies, but I do have my preferences, and here they are, in list form, ordered from most favourite to least favourite:
- Final Destination 2
- Final Destination
- Final Destination 3
- Final Destination 5
- The Final Destination
Be sure to vote in the poll below and leave a comment with your thoughts!
I Watched 8 “Nightmare on Elm Street Movies” in 7 Days
Just as blogging is a dead art form, DVDs (like most physical media) are a dying/dead media. Well, I am combining both by writing a blog entry about how I watched some movies on DVD! Soon I will be in a coffin because I am old and will also be dead.
It just so happens that the DVDs I have watched are part of an 8-DVD collection of films from the Nightmare on Elm Street series, which, if you didn’t know, is a series of movies that feature the delightful hijinx of a loveable trickster named Frederick Krueger who entertains children in their very dreams! If you are totally unfamiliar with the series, I strongly suggest watching it.
I will be giving each individual movie a rating and then I will present my ordered list of preferences, which, due to my position as a respected film critic, will be revered as paradigm-shifting and will establish an entirely new era of film critique and film series preference ordering. You may wonder about the 2010 remake, but I have never seen it, and there is a good chance I will never; as far as I am concerned, it has no place on this list.
Anyway, here are the movies in release order with my ratings:
A Nightmare on Elm Street, in addition to being a classic of horror cinema, was also the debut of Johnny Depp as an actor. This film also introduced entire concept of the main antagonist (for me, I really consider him the protagonist) Freddy Krueger and did so in an extremely smooth fashion. This film didn’t have the budget of its following entries in the series, but the (practical) effects were excellent and the acting was coherent, even if it suffered by having actors in their 30’s play high school students.
My Rating: 10/10
I find it incredibly difficult to not rate this movie a solid 10, and I mean, that is the rating I am giving it. This has every good aspect of a horror movie: building tension, creepiness, horror moments, gore, and even a little bit of nudity. Obviously there are things that I would prefer changed or done slightly differently, but this is a film I could watch multiple times (I have) and still enjoy every aspect.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, is the first sequel in the series. A lot of people seem to think that no sequel can ever match the original, but I don’t always agree. The success of the first film ensured that the sequel had a larger budget (about double) and that money was well-spent on practical effects that really started to ratchet up the dream-like insanity of Freddy’s imagination and bloodlust. It is possible to enjoy this movie without having seen the first, but this movie is made better by having a little background knowledge.
My Rating: 9/10
I know I just got finished writing how a sequel can’t match the original and how I disagreed, but I mean, let me get this clear, this is a really great flick, but it just misses a little bit of the tension of the original and I really would have liked a little nudity (sorry not sorry). Although, on that topic, if you read the “parent’s guide” on IMDB, this one sounds like a hardcore homosexual porno, but I don’t really agree with that assessment. Whatever. Highly recommended and if not “as good” as the original, it is still an excellent experience.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, the second sequel, and is a mixed bag for many reasons. This film, like the first sequel, also had the benefit of a larger budget and that budget was spent on effects, notably this was the first of the series to feature computer animation, although in very small sequences. The (practical) effects are truly excellent and fairly over-the-top which is welcome, but the story starts to suffer as this film really starts to expand on the “dream world” elements of the film universe, which is not what I want in a horror movie, I want people getting mangled, not weird dream interactions between children.
My rating: 8/10
I want to be clear here: most of the story involving the eponymous “Dream Warriors” is kind of a real drag; this movie relies on another excellent portrayal of Freddy and some truly imaginative sequences with effects to match. There is a lot of “cringe” in this flick, but there are a lot of good scenes as well. Overall, I really enjoyed it and I think any fan of series should also, and for the general film-watching public, it should be pretty good; give it a try.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, like the previous entry this movie really starts to fall apart in the coherency department due to the further exploration of the dream world. For me; however, I really liked how everything was just kind of shoe-horned in and somewhat forced – the feeling is almost nostalgic and for me, gives the movie a feeling of mystery. The film also represents another positive step in the effects department and I feel that with a few small exceptions, the effects not only stand up to current efforts, but often surpass them. The big knock that I have for this movie is the lack of gore, this is the first entry in the series where gore really takes a backseat, every kill being almost entirely bloodless, and this, for me, for many horror/gore fans, is inexcusable.
My Rating: 7/10
Yeah, another high rating, but I mean, I am a fan of the series. I will note that the direction on this one and the lack of gore were what really harmed this one. The director and/r writer clearly had a hard-on for 1950’s America and it had a negative impact on the aesthetic… …yet, the director also had really amazing camerawork and scene composition, so, wow, hard decisions here. If this had been made by the same team as 2 or 3 but with the technological advancements and improvements in effects, this would have been a 10.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, is for me, basically a continuation of the previous film – it has most of the same characters, deals with the same story arc, and largely features the same plot. This movie does have one of my favourite depictions of Freddy, so I can’t consider it to be total trash.
My rating: 7/10
The rating may seem strange since this is basically a copy of the previous. I deduct points for lack of originality, but add points due to increase in quality, so it evens out.
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, well, I guess this sequel dropped around the time when it became unpopular to have numbers in the title for sequels. This one abandons the story arc of the last two films and settle on a new one that brings more characterization to Freddy and shows a bit of his life before he was an undead dream master. There is a lot of creativity in this one and it has a lot of film-parody elements.
My rating: 8/10
For me, this is more of a “return to form” and definitely fits a bit closer to the first sequel. I really would have liked to see a bit more gore, not to note that the film shies away from it, but simply would benefit with some more.
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, is an evolution, not only of the entire film series, but also of writer/director Wes Craven. After being away from the series for a decade, the original creator comes back with an entirely different type of horror movie. Whereas previous incarnations were focused on strict horror, this film includes an incredible psychological aspect and blurs, even more, the border between dream/film/and reality.
My rating: 9/10
Everything here is amazing; it is difficult to choose between quality writing and excellent special effects. This film relies on having a knowledge of who and what the film series are about; but, it is easily digestible for someone who only really knows about Freddy Krueger, but hasn’t necessarily seen any of the films. This one is definitely the most “thinking man’s” horror film of the series, but has enough of the traditional stuff for the fans of the earlier films.
Freddy Vs. Jason is my favourite in the series (funny enough, it is my favourite in the Friday the 13th series as well). This movie, is as far as I’m concerned, one of the greatest films ever made. Even by traditional metrics of judgement, this flick has it all, character development, a triumph in spite of a hopeless situation, and all of the atmosphere and coherency you could ever want. This flick also combines CGI and practical effects in the best possible manner and all CGI elements are in the background. This is even approachable for newcomers to either series, but is especially great for fans of either/both.
My rating: 10/10
This film is golden, liquid platinum, diamonds, whatever you value, this film is that. Of course I am biased, but everyone has a bias, but anyone that does not enjoy this film is trying to not enjoy it. There is not a scene in this film that is lazily composed and everything about this entire production is overwhelmingly professional. I recommend.
That’s that! Now, that I’ve review each individual film, here is my ordered list of the 8 films, from my favourite to least favourite. Make sure you let me know how bad my list is in the comments, and don’t forget to vote in the poll below my list as well!
- Freddy Vs. Jason
- A Nightmare on Elm Street
- Wes Craven’s New Nightmare
- A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
- Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
- A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
- A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
- A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
All film poster from IMDB
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