The current economy is dogshit and a lot of people are suffering. Here are some tips that might help you stretch out your budget a bit for Spring 2023.
The current economy is dogshit and a lot of people are suffering. Here are some tips that might help you stretch out your budget a bit for Spring 2023.
10. Be sure to collect flyers and coupons.
Coupons and flyers are great free resources that you can burn for warmth!
9. Try a diet.
Food is expensive, so save money on it by simply not eating.
8. Use discounts.
The sheer burden of existence has invariably aged you beyond recognition, nobody is going to check you for a senior status because you no-doubt look terrible and haggard, even if you are only 30-something .
7. DIY.
Your ancestors did their own medical care and so can you! Maybe that trepanation would help!
6. Take a coffee break.
…because you will get a free coffee every shift when you take a second job at Starbucks.
5. Go on vacation.
Live in a hobo campsite in the park or near the train tracks while you rent out your own home on AirBnB.
3. Take advantage of local attractions and events.
…by having your children/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever pickpocket tourists while you distract them.
2. Save your spare change.
…and when you have a decent amount, put it in the end of a sock and use it as a bludgeon to beat and rob those foolish enough to walk through a dark alley.
1. Capitalize on the recent popularity of Real Crime documentaries.
Live stream yourself committing a series of grisly murders. Maybe you can get a sponsor!
It’s satire (sort of) and I hope you don’t have to use these tips.Got your own? Leave it in the comments.
First chapter of a science fiction horror story about a spacefarer on humanity’s first interstellar journey discovering the wreckage of another spacecraft.
Soundtrack for this story.
I
It can’t be avoided; pervasive, perpetual – the smell. Get the best air filters ever manufactured,run the air cyclers constantly, and it will still be hanging in the air. Sweat, gear oil, old food, and even a slight tinge of urine. Just enough to be detectable, just enough to disgust.
There was a time when I didn’t care about the smell. I remember when I could merely look out the porthole and be entranced by the expanse of stars. Now, even when I try to recall those initial moments of joy, I only seem to get an intense feeling self-loathing. I move through the low gravity with ease and grace, but it is now just the same as walking, the ecstasy that I felt from the first encounter with floating has long since dissipated.
I fluctuate between rushing through my daily routine so that the same boring tasks are done sooner and lazily dragging out everything so that the time when I have nothing to do is much shorter. Wake up. Check systems. Change filters. Eat. Update log. Sleep. Repeat again and again, ad nauseam.
Before I decided to go, the number of days didn’t seem like such a large amount. Confinement to a pressurized cage of carbon fibre, aluminum, and steel changes one’s perspective. I can no longer even contrive the grand naivete that I felt during my training, the endless claims of jealousy and pride that I heard, if only those people knew the reality, the grand and resplendent monotony of space travel.
There is no adventure involved, but there is maintenance. Every system requires some kind of upkeep: fuels need to be remixed, coolant levels adjusted, damage repaired, and, of course, there is always cleaning. What the air scrubbers don’t get needs to be cleaned by hand. Smears, smudges, stray hairs, tiny particles that seem to get everywhere.
Today is a special treat – the waste management system requires cleaning. No matter where humanity may go or what heights of technology it may reach, one thing is definitely constant, it will always need some kind of toilet.
As I am elbow-deep in a nest of tubes trying to screw a new filter in palce an alarm blares from the cockpit. I am uncertain if I should be happy that I get a brief reprieve from the onerous task or if I should be upset for being interrupted. Even the alarms are routine: the automated sensors have found some small piece of rock or ice that will undoubtedly strike the surface of the vessel and subsequently require repair.
The screen flashes orange and yellow, “OBJECT DETECTED” in large block letters. I tap, then tap again on what is becoming a dead spot on the touch screen and the view cycles to an exterior camera clouded with dust. I stare at the screen, then after a few seconds take several deep breaths. I forget that my hands might be smeared with some unpleasant substances as I rub my eyes and pinch my nose before looking at the screen again.
I push away from the monitoring station and effortlessly glide towards the controls. There is a specific protocol to slow or stop progress and a lot of menus and notices to confirm, and I tap the screen urgently as they pop up. “Yes, I accept.” I say aloud as I click away the final notice. The droning sound of the engines change and lessen as the vessel accepts my commands. I push away from the the control panel.
I am close enough to the porthole that my breath fogs the glass. I move the small thumbpad to shine the spotlight. I go past it at first, then I exhale and direct the light directly onto it. Space travel is rare, people are jealous of me that I am one of the few people that has embarked on a great journey through the stars, so perhaps this is the reason that I feel so strange to stare out of the only spacecraft that humanity has ever sent this far, at the wreckage of what is assuredly another spacecraft…
I guess I have been thinking about Starfield recently…
Endlessly I stare upon it, transfixed by its lines and the life that they hint at. The curvature and colour, the shape and scope – all interplay to create a truly captivating work of art. I write, of course, in regards to the Chicken Profile emoji from Facebook.
The blank face that gazes boldly and emotionlessly into the void. This stoic stare forces the viewer to examine their own emotional state, it forces the viewer to gaze into their own void; a limitless void comprised of their fears, regrets.
The longer I look upon the Chicken-cum-Whistler`s Mother, the greater my sense of dread. I feel small, held underneath the shadow of some sublime mountain outcropping that teeters towards collapse and my bitter end.
I have known fear, but it pales in the anxiety created by a low resolution image of a domesticated bird.
It took me longer to get into Elden Ring than most people – I didn’t buy the game until October 2022, about six months after the game was released. Since then; however, I really jumped on the bandwagon. I have beaten the game and managed every ending and have beaten the hidden bosses, collecting all of the trophies available. I even did some serious grinding to get some of the rare drop weapons, but I abandoned this vain quest (call me what you like, I am really tired of trying to get a Magma Blade!).
I am not much for online and/or multiplayer, so the recent arena update was a little bit of a let down for me. Now, everyday (like some other people) I pine for the DLC. As I think about the possibility of DLC quite often, I have also thought about some specific things that I would like to see. More to the point, I have made a list of ten things I would like to have in the DLC:
Corpse Desecration – so I can be like my BFF Dung Eater;
First Person Mode – …and not just for my cuddle time with FIA;
More Dungeons with Chariots – I actually don’t want this, terrible, wow, it’s not even funny as a joke;
Item Location Randomizer – for subsequent playthroughs (yes, I am a filthy console player so no mods);
Customizable/More Mounts – yeah I like Torrent, but maybe they could have a Nightrider Funeral Shroud?;
More Underground Areas – I know there is a lot already, but there is more to explore;
Vampirism and/or Lycanthropy – that can affect the Tarnished as welll;
More Treasure Trails – Ã la the painting/artist scavenger hunts;
Dyes – for clothing, weapons, etc;
Manga – I would love to see some side story manga!
SimmyDizzle and Friends 
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