If you didn’t already know, South Park is coming back this season (24 already, wow!) with a “Pandemic Special” which is set to be an hour-long event that will probably lampoon the current COVID-19 pandemic and the response to it.
I also wouldn’t be too surprised if there was some stuff in there about the upcoming election. Oh, apparently the USA is having some big election, did you know?
If you are a fellow Canuck, you will be able to see the special broadcast on MuchMusic – because nobody watches music videos on television anymore. The special “airs” (streams?) on 30 September 2020 at 10:00 PM EST – so make sure you are reading this blog post before that (huh?).
If you want to really get into the South Park mood, you can also make a custom avatar – you know, so you can save it on your phone and then forget about it and never use it for anything.
Try as you might, you cannot escape. The entity that pursues you is not of this world.
The entity is not a person, not a creature, not something that like us that drags its physical form across the ground; no, your pursuer is otherworldly, other-dimensional. As it travels directly through the ether of existence, you have no chance to escape, but the unknown fate that it promises has delivered you into a rabid paranoiac state and you constantly, desperately, try to evade its merciless chase.
Do whatever you feel you must, but know that soon your eldritch nemesis, Reagan, will have you.
Is there a big difference between Canadian Thanksgiving and American Thanksgiving? Find out!
Are you as confused as this turkey? I mean, if you are, you might be having a stroke, this is actually a pretty simple concept…
Is there a big difference between Canadian Thanksgiving and American Thanksgiving? I mean, not really, but there are probably “purists” that have a strong opinion on the matter, arguing with their opponent from the other camp about which one came first or is the “truer” holiday.
Yeah, I don’t know about that. All I want to do is write about a day wherein I eat too much (which is almost everyday, but this one is special). For any American reading this, maybe you can spot some differences; maybe you are going to wonder why there are differences at all.
Anyway, this is going to be a largely comparative article, enjoy! …or don’t!
The history of the holiday in Canada is tied to Arctic exploration and basically how a group of English explorers were pretty stoked that they didn’t freeze to death in the Arctic Ocean. …or maybe it was tied to some French explorers? …wait, it was citizens of Halifax! …perhaps it was a tradition brought from America to Canada after the American Revolution..?
Likely, the tradition is a combination of all of these inspirations. All of that considered, there is a lot of influence from the USA due to their overwhelming globo-cultural hegemony (and the fact that the celebrations are pretty similar). So anyway, the reason for the holiday is giving thanks but you know, for different stuff at different times.
The Date
Technically the Prime Minster is invited to every Thanksgiving Dinner in the country. This is 100% true.
The date is the only significant difference between Thanksgiving in Canada and in America. In Canada, the holiday takes place on the second Monday in October, which if you are an American should be a familiar date, since it is Columbus Day (although based on recent protests, I bet this Columbus Day might be more memorable for the rest of the world). The date in Canada was only fixed in place in 1957, it occurred at various other points of time before that, and was largely put in October to avoid overlap with Remembrance Day that occurs on 11 November (or Veteran’s Day, if you are in the USA).
Now, in the USA Thanksgiving is on a Thursday, which usually segues into a four-day weekend with the Friday in between American Thanksgiving and the weekend being Black Friday. Well, in Canada Black Friday has only recently cropped up, but it is made up for on Boxing Day, sort of.
Oh yeah, it might be worth mentioning that in Canada, it is only an optional holiday for some provinces. Oops. Four-day weekend in the USA, uh, “nice day” in (some parts of) Canada…
The Food
If you think this is a typical Canadian Thanksgiving meal, well, you are way fucking cooler than I will ever be and I have to wonder why you are even wasting your time reading this article?
Here is where the differences in between Canada and America melt away. The focus of the holiday is on a feast which is, in both countries, centred around main dish of roast turkey. To make it a proper feast, there are usually lots of side dishes, usually of the autumnal variety: squash, potato, roast vegetables, gravy, and cranberry sauce. A selection of casseroles tend to be more popular in the USA, green-bean casserole, sweet potato with marshamllow. Desserts tend towards being the same, apple pie, pumpkin pie – a notable Canadian difference being the inclusion of Nanaimo bars.
Another notable exception is the Newfoundland tradition of a Jigg’s dinner, but they are always unique.
The Sports
I mean, say what you like about JT, but he is photogenic and makes for some great pictures. …or maybe I am wrong.
There is a big tradition in both countries to have sporting events broadcast during the holiday; however, it is a much bigger deal in the USA and several major league sports have special games (in non-pandemic years); while in Canada the sole special event is the Thanksgiving Day Classic of Canadian Football.
Is That It?
Yeah, pretty much. There are some parades and some school activities, but for the most part Thanksgiving, in Canada, is just another long weekend.
What a fucking terrible inventory system. Honestly.
Yes, I know, slavery is bad or something, I don’t care.
This “Egyptian” broad has some pretty hefty knockers.
Here is your prize. You waste a tonne of time searching for these Red Jewels and you get a terrible “bonus” stage that reeks with lazy design, even more than the regular game. I am glad I didn’t find this as a youth.
I am continuing to play this game. No matter how much the game grows steadily more heavy-handed with its morality and increasingly more lazy with its deus ex machina plot elements I will not quit it.
Wow.
Consider that my non-ringing endorsement.
Whoa! A Communism wait-in-line for products simulator! I never did this in my initial playthrough as a youth and I didn’t really miss much.
I saw this meme on 4chan while I was spending some time browsing. I thought it was kind of amusing, then…
…I saw this version of the meme and I could not agree more with it. Every retro game that I play makes me hate retro games more and hate the entire concept of nostalgia; I hate that my brain creates the feelings of nostalgia. What a waste of time and effort – the only thing worse is that there is no contemporary media, of any kind (video game, book, film) that manages to captivate me, let along hold my interest.
If you discount items that are plot-specific, there are only two types of items in the game: red jewels and herbs. The red jewels don’t really make sense as an inventory item since they can be “sent” to their dropoff point without any resource expenditure (except for a few seconds of time) and basically serve to clutter your inventory otherwise. Honestly, this game has such a cool-looking inventory screen and they waste it by having the inventory be totally fucking useless. Just make the “B” button the “herb button” and have the only-can-be-used-in-one-place items just be unseen flags stored in RAM. Fuck, I am getting super cynical here, but honestly, was this fucker playtested? Did I not give a shit as a youth? AM I too critical now? Whatever, weed joke. Fuck you.
I was thinking about making this entire post somewhat humourous and drug-related, and well, the more I think about it, I just don’t care.
Drug reference. Laugh.
I have distinct memories of the enemy here…
…I don’t know why, but I really liked the mobile-shrub/mimic enemy. It is still kind of fun now. Oh well.
Nostalgia is poison and I am dying. Stay tuned for the next post!
More information about the “hit your head” meme at knowyourmeme.
SimmyDizzle and Friends 
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